Friday, September 28, 2012

Ian Pastorius Memoir

15 comments:

  1. I understood your theme, but this presentation went rather long. It's supposed to be under five minutes and since it was over seven, I started to become bored. Though, besides that, I could understand all of the memoirs.

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  2. I agree with SarahM2016, the presentation was rather long. Also, I did not hear a lot of voice inflection. You did well at painting a picture in my mind, which is good, but there weren't many pictures of yourself. I could get a picture in my own mind, but I couldn't see you in it. I could see how you connected things that happened in your memoir to lessons in life. I could see some connections between one memoir to the next. Based on the rubric I would give this a 2 1/2-2 3/4.

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  3. I also agree it was very long to which it then made people drift away from your presentation. There was no voice inflection which is also boring to watch, and liste too. Other than that you needed and

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  4. More pictures of yourself and then it would be better

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  6. I liked how the stories all connected, but the transitions were a little awkward. Your imagery and description were good, but try to use more emotion.

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  7. I enjoyed the experiences you shared, and I appreciated the imagery and emotion in your writing. The visuals were relevant, but actual pictures of you and your personal experience would have enhanced it more. You made good use of verbal techniques such as inflection and overall did a good job.

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  8. I loved the memories that you shared with us but it was very long and tedious. If you had some inflection or emotion in your voice it would have made the video seem shorter. Also you could have been more creative with your video

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  9. Ian, I feel that you were able to connect with the listener with how you set up your memoir. I enjoyed the experiences you described. I think you are able to enunciate well, but your speaking is a little choppy. Your word choice is excellent, and you described your experiences well. I liked the pictures that you included. I feel that a broad conclusion at the end to tie all your pieces together would have been beneficial. I would give you a 3 based on the rubric.

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  10. Ian your presentation was a little long but I think you did an overall good job and I liked your theme. I also think that you could have added in more descriptive words. Good job!

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  12. Overall, the presentation was pretty good. It was a little long, and I didn't hear that much emphasis in your voice, which may have made it a bit uninteresting, but the presentation was very good in general, and it was very well put together. I liked your theme a lot!

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  13. It was a little long but it was interesting. I liked the personal memories and the good imagry. The scars pieces were very interesting and the theme of getting around was great. You could have had more pictures of you. for the most part it was great. Organization: 4 Content: 3.5 Verbal techniques: 3.5 Media: 3 Preparation: 4

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  14. Ian-
    I thought that your presentation was great, and that your visual media helped tell the stories of your memoirs. Also I thought that your actual stories themselves were great. However the presentation was a little bit too long and your speaking was monotone. Other than that great job.

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  15. Ian!
    I had timed your memoir and it was too long, but your presentation was good. I enjoyed the images you had posted although I felt that your pictures could have been more personal. Your memoir had a nice flow to it and you spoke very clearly. I thought the transitions could have been a lot stronger though. It was hard to tell the difference between one memoir and the next. The last advice I have would be to next time really try to create a "why" slide, or at least state why those memoirs matter to you and tie them together to create a stronger lasting impression.

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