Friday, September 28, 2012

Julia Goncalves


  1. Julia, You have a great theme and supporting ideas. Fix some of those picture and voice problems. I don't remember specific quotes from you memoir. You had a good overlapping idea and supports though.

    1. I loved the voice. It worked really well. However, I know you can add so much more emotion:). Also consider working on the flow. Possibly try to shorten. Think of this as an outline:
      Intro-Main Idea
      Memoir-analysis *5

      Great work!

  2. You did a good job! I could feel a lot of emotion in your voice, which really drove home your point. I like how your story really flowed and had many pictures with you and your family. Like Nate said, make sure to fix you voice and picture problem.

  3. Great job Julia! I heard a lot of emotion in you voice and I loved your pictures and stories! In the beginning, maybe add a slide to add what your theme is. You go straight into your stories (which were really good by the way), which was kind of confusing. Also, make sure you fix your picture and voice problems. I liked how you transferred into the stories with a lead-on like, "wait, there is someone important in this picture". It made me want to keep on watching to see who was important. Maybe add another slide at the end to really point out and conclude your voice thread. Your conclusion is kind of mixed in with your last story, and if you weren't paying attention, you might not notice that you were concluding. Overall, good job! :)

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  5. The theme that tied them all together was really good and each story was good. The pictures added to the stories, but maybe try to fix the pictures repeating. Your voice had a lot of emotion and everything was organized. Good job overall.

  6. Good job. The fact that the pictures were taken during the memoir you were describing was good. I think the media enhanced your speech. The speed of your speech was good also.

  7. Overall I think I did a pretty good job but unfortunately, as hard as I tried, no matter how many calls I made or glitches I worked through, I could not fix the picture problem. Because of that, I did not meet the time requirements but I thought I had a good use of pictures and inflection in my voice.

  8. Your memoir was really cute and I could clearly hear the emotion in your voice especially when you talked about your grandma. Your transition were original and creative especially with the one for your brother, but it was kinda confusing with the glitch (which I know you couldn't do anything about) I loved all the pictures you used because I could tell how close you are with your family. Good job Ujila teehee.

  9. Good job! I really enjoyed your memoir! I loved how I could feel your emotion in the seems of your writing. You could make it flow a little better but overall it was great!:)

    (even though your "BANG" sucked I still think you should get an A;))