Saturday, September 29, 2012

Faith Fyles Memoir (Revised)

I just want to clarify that my concept is "feeling small" but my visual theme is children and childlike things (for example, the writing in some slides looks like a little kid wrote it). I did this because children are a good representation of "feeling little".

9 comments:

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  2. I really like your memoir! You kept it interesting with many different pictures and other visuals. You used really great vocabulary and I thought your concept was really unique and it drew me in! Remember to keep your memoir within five minutes. Other than that, great job!

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  3. I really liked your piece other than I wished that you had more pictures of yourself. It was kind of boring in the beginning but then it got better as the video went on.

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  5. This was really well done, I love how you carried over your theme throughout the whole piece making all the stories connect and having it make sense. It is a little long but the organization and key words helped everything click. Well done.

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  6. Faith your memoir project was very interesting. I loved your vocabulary and your visual theme. I feel like sometimes your voice was quieter than at other times. Another part of your memoir that I really liked was all the use of color and the child like things such as crayons and markers. I thought that you could have included a little bit of background information on a few topics. I really liked the excerpts you chose to read for this project. Great Job!

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  7. Self Assessment: For Organization, I would give myself a 3 because I thought my presentation was organized logically and had great transitions, because I actually spent a lot of time writing those little parts in between to relate the excerpts in a way that would be easy to follow. However, I wouldn't say it "flowed seamlessly". My introduction and conclusion was effective, but perhaps not so thought provoking.
    For Content I would give myself a 3 because although I clearly understood the purpose and audience for this project, my background info/content was not creatively provided. I believe I sustained audience attention, but I did not entertain the audience very much.
    For Verbal Techniques, I would give myself a 3 because I felt I had an appropriate balance of effective voice inflection and my volume and speed was acceptable, though some parts were quieter due to the recording. I don't feel like those parts were too distracting or difficult to understand.
    For Media, I would give myself a 3 because I did use digital media strategically though not in a "particularly sophisticated way" (though that may be hard to decipher, as my visual theme was intended to be childish, youthful, immature).
    For Preparation, I would give myself a 3 because I did prepare and practice, but my time limit was not met. However, Mrs. Smith I believe I heard you saying that you suggested a 5 minute presentation, though you were not sure because the project had never been done before and you thought people could make arguments as to why anything longer than 5 minutes would still be appropriate. The reason why mine was about 7 minutes was because I did choose long excerpts due to the fact that I viewed this project as to be mostly directed by our actual writing. Some details I explained in my transition pieces, but I allowed a lot of content to be covered in my memoir writing. I didn't really want to cut down so much on my excerpts because there were some parts that I really liked and was proud of. Also, I did have some pauses between my speaking that I could have edited out, and I actually think that would add up to shave off a decent amount of seconds.
    Overall, I believe a 3-3.5 would be suitable for my work, because some things I did really well and would score myself a 4 in, but others leveled out to less.

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  8. You are such a good writer, you did an awesome job. I loved the word choice you had and the way you described things was very clear. Your transitions were very smooth and I could tell you spent a long time connecting the papers. Also, your images complimented your speaking part very well and you spoke with a clear tone. The only thingI would say is try to have a little more inflection. Great job!

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  9. Faith! I loved how your stories connected really well with your theme and how the just flowed. The way you presented things with the pictures saying "Small" etc.. was really smart and really helped pull the whole thing together! I think something you could work on would be putting more emotion in your voice. Other than that I couldnt keep my eyes off the screan!

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